Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
