when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
