Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
