I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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