She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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