I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
