I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm bleeding and have questions
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
