i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
