He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
