This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
