Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The best revenge is premature balding
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
