You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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