i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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