Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
