; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
