this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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