Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
