PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
