I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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