Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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