oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
