Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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