Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
