i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
