Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
