how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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