this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
