Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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