She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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