I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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