If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
