i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
