Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
