I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize