the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
