Please, let me fuck your mom
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
