Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
