Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
