she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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