I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
