i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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