Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
there is puke in my bra ... again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
