im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
