Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
