True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
