do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
