we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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