i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
