I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
