I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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