Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
