How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
