If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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