he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
