thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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