Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
