Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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