Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
