Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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