We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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