I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
