Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize